Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
