Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
