it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
