My nipple is on Facebook.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
