we're blogging at a bar
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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