if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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