On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize