Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
