I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
No I am not eating basil off your cock
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
