I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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