i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize