Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
