The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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