it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
