I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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