Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
