I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
