so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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