he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
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On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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