You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The air taste purple.
Randomize