We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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