I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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