He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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