I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
