K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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