i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Come share oat with me in your robe
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
