So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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