so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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