i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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