Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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