people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
