Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
