There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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