What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
