i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
