what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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