I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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