You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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