SEEEEXXX PLEASE
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
