maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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