There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So here I am, sexting at work.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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