Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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