how can u be prego again
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
