I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
