And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
