It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
