it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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