**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
