i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Randomize
