On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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