We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
