Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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