have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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