why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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