Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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