forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
